a week, illustrated

He called me back into the room, with a glint in his eye.

"What do you think that is for?"

I blink for a moment in surprise, walk around to view it from another angle.

"It's a spanking chair, for sure" i say, "in a lovely damask."

I looked around the tastefully opulent furnishings, hopeful for sight of a queening stool too.

• wore a frock, danced along the Thames

• should have got dressed before making cherry poms (cherry brandy, pomegranate juice, ginger beer)
• smoked trout pate ✓ broad bean and pancetta salad ✓ duck, orange, olive & watercress ✓ Now: i can drink ✓
• is going to sit in the paddling pool and shuck a large bowl of beans.

smoked trout pate

pancetta & broad bean salad

• white chocolate with pepper & lemon + Two Door Cinema Club on repeat shuffle + paddling pool #betterthanglastonbury
• personal trainer in sadistic mood; am set to rights, and i've now got noodles arms.
• 6 hour round trip + day off work & school for a hospital appointment that was cancelled because of a leak in the ceiling #NHS #faultywiring
• Boy has beast quest, i have blomkvist: perfect companions for a train ride
• Some people are carrying ground sheets, groceries and green wellies on their backs.
• There are many shiny, pink people in london today. I am not #hotpants #fitflops
• There is a woman on the train moving her lips silently while reading her barbara cartland novel
• Talking to a friend setting a pitch at glastonbury while i sip latte at victoria station #differentplanets #samesun
• just left westminster tube but didn't notice anyone talking about the #budget
• Oxford is dazzled by strong sun, drinking blueberry + passionfruit juice and wondering whether the bus delivered us to australia instead
• Speeding beneath the hooves of the most ancient white horse, singing #johnnyflynn