tricky procedure

It is so very hard to navigate around a bone shaking orgasm when i am studded all over with sutures that shouldn't be shaken. But I shall achieve it. Maybe not tonight. Maybe tonight is another of those very quiet ones, when i let only my knees quiver.

No heavy weight lifting, I am told. What do I do about the weight of my own breasts hanging off my cut-about shoulders? Lie down. So I do.

Nip and pinch

My garden of blossoming roses, viewed daily in the mirror, creep across my belly and speckle my breasts with their faded yellow splendour. I am surprised by yet another faintly flowering low down on my hip, only visible when I twist in the brighter light by the window. Later they will develop shadows of earthy green, intensified by the marbling of his teeth in the places he lovingly lingered.

Glory be

I am too tired to fuck so he jokes that he will take my arse while I sleep. With that fat cock in me there is little chance that my eyes would be shut for long. I remember those mornings when he woke at bird's song and he would cradle my back and push slowly between my relaxed thighs, nudging me to a dreamy awareness through the sleepy heat of a well spent night, a gentle friction of our limbs beneath the comfort of the duvet, rocking hips and the pressure of his uplifted knee. I shift a leg straight to feel him deeper and he is further awake and rising, escalating and determined.

Nights in

We play that game, you probably all know it; "guess who dun'it" within 5 minutes of the opening credits. Any cheesy crime drama will do. Cards on the table, with plot justification.

Our stakes: spontaneous blow jobs. Or; who gets to come first, except that he likes me to come first, because he tends to fall asleep immediately afterwards, and I like to come first because it increases the likelihood of slipping a second orgasm in. Or out.

We don't often go out for an evening, just because it is so much fun to be in on our sofa, under a blanket or two.

And again.

Today a lovely doctor told me I had cancer. She said it very fast, the words popping out before she had even sat down beside me, rushing on to how fortunate it was that the decision to cut had happened, and how close we had been to not going ahead with another slice, and another scar. I scar badly.

I now have a key worker, just like the children at preschool. She gave me lots of paper to read.

My deadly freckles.

satisfaction

Apparently (I read somewhere) the endorphins created by having my ankles stroked are similar to those released by fucking. That's as maybe, as I never forego the opportunity to place my bare feet in his wide lap to receive his fingerly administrations along the thin skin, my toes nestled close to the warmth of his balls in comfortable appreciation. However, I can't compare any pleasure I receive to that of the satisfaction of waking of a morning with sticky orifices and pinched flesh.

Savoury, you say? Try this easiest Roast Onion Soup, with or without artery-clogging cheddar islands. 

4 medium onions 
A glug of olive oil (or butter, if you insist)
A glass of white wine1.5 lt vegetable stock
A small loaf .. sunflower and spelt seed is a favourite
Grated Gruyere, Emmental or other good melting cheese - a few generous handfuls

Set the oven to medium-hot. Peel the onions and cut them in half from tip to root, then lay them in a roasting tin and add the oil, salt and some pepper. Roast until they are tender and soft, and toasted dark brown here and there. You might have to turn them now and again.

Put the onions in a jug, and blend briefly. I wanted some mulched and some left in pieces. You could just chop instead, if you prefer. 

Put the onions in a saucepan with the wine and bring to the boil. Let the wine bubble until it almost disappears (you just want the flavour, not the alcohol), then pour in the stock. Bring to the boil and simmer for about twenty minutes.

Just before you want to serve the soup, make the cheese croutes. Cut the loaf into thin slices and toast lightly on one side under a hot grill. Turn them over and sprinkle with the grated cheese. Get the soup hot, ladle it into bowls and float the cheese croutes on top.
Enough for 4.

nuts about you

For me, the year officially starts tomorrow. Never let it be said that I am not a patient woman (I'm not really).

I have googled this recipe to see how others have fared .. it is generally raved over (I agree) but everyone's looks a little different. Life's sweet varieties. 

Banana, Coconut & Cherry Loaf. Dare i try this with chocolate? next time .. 

Ingredients
125g soft unsalted butter (i use dairy-free spread)
3 large bananas 
150g vanilla caster sugar
2 eggs
175g plain flour (i use dove's gluten-free)
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
100g dried cherries
100g desiccated coconut

1 x 900g (2lb) loaf tin

Preheat the oven to 170oC/fan oven 150oC/gas mark 3. Put a loaf liner into your tin, or line the bottom of the tin with baking parchment and grease the sides.

Melt the butter in a saucepan, and take it off the heat. Peel and mash the bananas in another bowl.

Beat the sugar into the cooled, melted butter, then beat in the mashed bananas and the eggs. Fold in the flour, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda. Finally, add the dried cherries and coconut.

Fold well so that everything is incorporated, then pour and scrape into the lined loaf tin and smooth the top.

Bake for about 50 minutes, but start checking after 45. When ready, the bread will be coming away from the sides of the tin and feel quite heartily bouncy on top.

Once of the oven, leave it in the tin for 10 minutes. Then carefully slip the cake out of the tin (still in the liner) onto a wire rack to cool.